The Gym Chronicles – Part 4 “6-Pack vs. The Keg”

Damn those 6-pack abs!

I watch those TV ads, look at photos of movie stars, male and female, and I see how my wife, Patti drools over photos of a shirtless David Beckham.

“Sure” I say, “It’s easy to have 6-pack abs when you have all that time to work out or if you have a personal trainer like all those movie stars!” Patti just looks at me and chuckles. One day she even walked around me and asked where the tap was for my keg. See what you have done to all of us Mr. Beckham?

Here is my dilemma, 6-pack abs require a lot of crunches and sit ups and twists etc. I HATE AB WORK! It makes my stomach upset and no matter how many crunch-type exercises I do I never can create anything more than a well-shaped keg. It really bothers me to see these guys wearing tight sweaty cotton shirts that outline their ripped abs. The hell with those guys, I hate them all. I saw this guy once wet the front of his wife-beater so it would cling to his abs.

Being an internet junkie, I searched and found the prerequisite to 6-pack abs and a scientific excuse for me to never do a sit up again. Yes! If you have fat in your belly area, you will never have 6-pack abs. Never! Well, at least as long as you have the fat there. Considering my genetic predisposition and my age, having 6-pack abs is about as likely as me spending the weekend with Cheryl Burke.

A keg or a 6-pack? Fat is a good thing.